The Importance of Agreeableness
Why it is important in the Big 5 personality traits.
I wake up,I see the notifications popped up.Automatically ,I reach out to read it. Another community got offended by some community.The feed is flooded with the issue,people ranting,empathising ,talking about it. Another rape case in limelight today.Sigh . The naive me thought at least the crime rate would be down in the lockdown.
I continue to scroll and see yet another triggering post,collective hating and displacing the issue for another.
Why don’t people just friggin agree with each others problems and listen?
Taking the nihilistic approach,it’s safe to say you having healthy debates is a great privilege ,nowadays.Mud slinging ,getting offended,not able to listen what exactly the person is trying to convey and not understanding the context of anything is prevalent too.Best example ? Twitter,Instagram,you name it.It is there.No platform is protected.No platform is safe.
In psychology ,there is a trait theory called Big Five Personality.Commonly known as the acronym OCEAN;
Openness to Experience
prefers routine, practical vs. imaginative, spontaneous
Conscientiousness
impulsive, disorganized vs. disciplined, careful
Extraversion
reserved, thoughtful vs. sociable, fun-loving
Agreeableness
suspicious, uncooperative vs. trusting, helpful
Neuroticism
calm, confident vs. anxious, pessimistic
Unlike other trait theories which classify individuals as binary, The Big 5 asserts each personality in the range of spectrum with the two contrasting behaviors on either ends.So you lie in the scale of both personality and can pivot to any of the ends depending on the environment.
To illustrate :
Here we would talk specifically about the agreeableness scale.There are two types of agreeableness. High and Low
Individual with high agreeableness are generally very good listeners,sympathetic,kind and willing to understand.
The ones with low agreeableness are generally demanding,difficult and stubborn folks who just can’t deal with anything which is not their way.
It’s quite obvious the more agreeable the person is ,the more healthy he/she is while interacting.Their ego is not tied to their opinions and generally they are flexible. Agreeableness is an obvious advantage for building teams and maintaining harmony on the work floor and gives good occupational advantage who want to enhance their networking skills.
This is where most people and the crowd are lacking in.Intolerance towards other person’s belief systems,opinions and taking a hostile approach deeming them wrong .There’s no interaction. There’s talking and talking back.Responding is not an option.Reacting is.Not listening to be heard but listening to react.Why? Low agreeableness.
How to improvise if you’re a hostile person and gets easily triggered?
For starters,Listen. No ,really ,really listen.Get the context right.Then discuss,not debate. Avoid general WhatAboutism.
If a person is saying A,respond to A ,then talk about B.If you talk about B ,when the person is talking about A,the conversation is just unproductive.Nobody learns anything.While responding to A ,give attention to what part of A is being emphasised by the person.
Understand that,everybody has resources to prove their confirmation bias.Flat earth society is a great example where no amount of resources would convince them otherwise.But are all resources correct? No.
How do we know which one is correct? Follow official pages and blogs of media not some meme page.An official resource always has other resources cited too.That’s one great way to choose . After all this,understand ,that you still can be wrong.There is a high chance anything you believe in can be debunked.So best answer is openness.Getting into the mindset where if anything you believe in is proved otherwise,can be understood if not accepted by you.
How to deal with hostile people?
Well,you always know how stubborn the person is when you’re talking to them.If they’re talking about something they believe and follow,there is no point of rationally talking to them.Logic and rationality is always an option,but so is understanding why and for what reasons a person is supporting a theory. If you know there is no point in talking about something which will be derailed,dismissed,etc you can always take a step back.What is important is you being open and willing for discussion and negative feedback.
